I had a post similar to this a while back. Posted it. Deleted it within 10 minutes because it was really revealing and really upsetting and I wasn’t sure if I wanted you all to know that much about me…
But.. in light of recent events, I wanna talk about it. Again. This may be deleted as well, it may not. I make no promises.
A few years back, my older cousin comitted suicide.
For me.. For me it was tough. He wasn’t just a cousin, he was more like a brother. We grew up together and I practically lived at his house.
He went through a tough time and.. and we all kinda dropped the ball. We didn’t see it, we just let it become the normal. But it wasnt. And that’s not cool.
Maybe he thought no one cared about him, maybe he thought life wasn’t worth it. I can’t tell you. I wish I knew. All I do know is that everyday I miss him. Every day, I try to put a little bit of good out into the world. Smile at one person at least. Just.. do something. Some days are more successful than others as I, like everyone else, gets wrapped up in myself.
Here’s the thing: If you’re going through a tough time, keep chugging along. You are doing awesome. You are brave, you are smart, you can do this. There will be dark days ahead. But there are people who love you, people who are on your side cheering. If you don’t believe me, then just start up a conversation with a random person. Pick a person on the street and say hi. Try to make someone smile. Brighten someone’s day. Make an impact. Because we need to do that. We need to show people they aren’t alone. Heck, you can even talk to me. I’m decent at replying to things, but I do like talking about anything. Pick a subject. My favorites are music, movies, books, and crochet. But those are just a handful of things I love. And if the people around you aren’t your type of people, then move. Or find some who are there or online. The internet is this great big huge thing that makes people come together across distances unimaginable. I know it is hard and it is much easier to say. But get help if you need it. You are not weak. You are stronger and braver than you know.
Just stay alive. We need you. The world needs you. Because you are irreplaceable. de Lint wrote, “Every time you do a good deed you shine the light a little farther into the dark. And the thing is, when you’re gone that light is going to keep shining on, pushing the shadows back.” That light is you. That light is your life. All the good that can come of it. All the souls you can touch just by being you. It may not seem like much, but it has to be enough.
I’m going to miss my cousin. I’m going to miss Robin Williams.
Suicide is not the answer. 😦
The Dragon's Cave 